Life In General

Random thoughts and news…

 Life In General, Music
Nov 292004
 

Man it’s cold! I heard it got down to the 20’s here in town last night. Glad we now have a furnace in the house! This would have been a horrible night to survive if all we had were 3 electric space heaters (like we had the past 2 winters).

Found a couple new albums that I’m really enjoying as of late:

William Shatner – “Has Been”
Wow did this album come out of the blue! I heard the track “Common People” while driving home last night and was blown away to hear that this is from William Shatner. His lyrics are so hard hitting and the collaborative music used is perfect. He speaks from his heart on issues that are strong with him. One of the songs towards the end talks about how many people ask him how he’d fix the world if he could (considering the fact that he’s saved the world in a couple of movies). He just says, “Hey! I’m just an entertainer! Nothing more.”


Muse – “Absolution”
Couldn’t quite peg this band when I first listened to them. Turns out, I’ve already heard a couple of these tracks without knowing who they were. Sounds like a fusion between Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails. Vocals of pain and passion with a strong metal and electronic musical background. Intense!

Today is my birthday

 Life In General
Nov 292004
 

Today I am 34. Can’t say I’m happy about it. How do I tryly feel about it? I feel “behind”. Now I know that there are a vast majority of people around me that would be quite happy to be where I’m at at this point but I can’t say I feel good about it today. Am I married? Yes. To an amazing woman that has somehow survived my craziness for the past 6 years and still managed to make me a better man. Do I have a career? Yes. Eventhough I’ve managed to lose my job just about every year of our marriage, I’ve always found a way to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads and a car to drive. That’s not too shabby by most accounts. But I am still not a father. I am getting older and I don’t like the idea of being an “old dad”. Financially, I am still living paycheck to paycheck. I have no savings to speak of, and not much hope of having any in the near future. I hate living like this when I start thinking about it too much. We’re one small disaster away from ruin! Car problems, health problems, ect.. We’d be in serious trouble.

Now to be honest, I don’t feel like this that often. Most of the time I’m quite content to be where I’m at in my life. I DO have hope. I am working on starting my own business and would probably rather not willingly bring kids into the mix during this potentially difficult time. I am meeting with a retirement planner tomorrow to begin thinking about my long-term future for once! I know that I have a lot of blessings and “potential” in my life, but I just look back on the past 10 years and feel like I’ve wasted so much of it doing very little. I’m sure there is a reason why the times and places are as they are but I still regret not being serious about taking more control of my life back then. Can’t say I’d be in anyplace differently -or how happy I’d be though.

Anyway, right or wrong, that’s how I’m feeling today.

Man! What a busy day!!!

 Life In General
Nov 242004
 

Even though I woke up late (was planning on catching the train to avoid the pre-Thanksgiving Day traffic) it has turned out to be a perfect work day once again. My boss had me on a rush job that has to be completed my Monday morning (and no one will be here the rest of the week). I just love working for Larry when he’s in a hurry to get things done. I think I work well under the pressure (and maybe prefer it). The day just flew by. Towards the end of the day, I came to the realization about the housing tract I was working on: I can squeeze another lot out of this area! A couple of hours later (and a lot of math) I managed to turn a 14-lot housing tract into a 15-lot tract! I just earned the developer another $100,000! Not too bad for a couple hours work if I do say so! That felt good. I felt like I was valuable -not that I didn’t think I was before but this was nice.

Still crying while listening to the new U2 album…

 Life In General, Music
Nov 232004
 

I can’t say that I know completely what it is about their music that sturs my emotions so much but I’m just a weeping baby when I listen to their new CD! I think the more I play it I’ll eventually get it though my system but it ain’t happening. I think it’s just the raw passion that comes through in the music. The lyrics, the bono’s vocals, that good ‘ole airy guitar rif, it all adds up to me weeping at my desk with my headphones on praying that no one notices me! I’m prepared to say that my eyes are just irritated but I doubt anyone would believe me. I’ve got a few other new albums to listen to but I just can’t stop playing this one!

Actually today was a good day. Got to work on time carpooling with the boss. The work they have me doing is great. I’ve got about a weeks worth of solid CAD drafting ahead of me and I love it. They all thought I’d balk at the notion of that much work being dropped on my desk but I just love grinding through all that mess. Just put on my headphones, some good tunes, and start CAD drafting like a fiend! I could surely go for more days like today. Everyone thinks I’d be starting to get bored of it by now (being that this is my 2nd day doing this work) but I’m actually loving it. I sure will miss it when I’m done…

Plans for next year that I might start up early…

 Life In General
Nov 232004
 

Well, I have 70 pounds to lose last time I checked. I am 5′-5″ and weigh around 205. I should weigh around 135-145. So my plan is to shoot for losing 1.5 lbs. every week. I plan on doing this through several things (none of which are set in stone yet):

1. no more eating after 6pm
2. eat smaller portions at each meal
3. have an apple twice a day between meals
4. plan a decent breakfast so I don’t get too hungry before lunch and pig out
5. exercise 2-3 times a week on my machine (probably at night) for 30 minuets minimum.
6. investigate fasting one day each week (may not be a good idea)
7. 10 minuets daily stretching after showering in the morning
8. weigh myself each morning before showering and post the number on the web!

So that’s my plan as it stands this afternoon. It may change but not my much. Suggestions are welcome though!

I bought a pineapple!!!

 Life In General
Nov 222004
 

I finally got around to buying some fruit from a couple of ladies in their pickup truck around the corner from my job. $2 for one or $5 for three. Not too bad. I’ll find out tonight if I spent my money well. It sure looks funny on my desk.

Fun in Palm Springs (and the ride home)

 Life In General
Nov 222004
 

Candi and I had a great time in Palm Springs for our annual Married’s Retreat as the Antelope Valley church joined up with the North Region, Central Region, and a couple others from the Los Angeles church to make a pretty large turnout. Got to see some old friends and catch up on how they’re doing. Learned a lot about our marriage and we still have a lot to talk about as a result of the many guest speakers that spoke over the weekend. Palm Springs was just perfect weather…That is, until Sunday:

–click on the image for a larger view–

It rained all day starting the night before and by the time we headed back, the pass on the 138 just after the 15 freeway looked like a winter wonderland! I was hoping for a few more shots as there were tons of Joshua trees just completely covered with snow -quite an amazing scene as far as the eye can see. A lot of people just thought that the 138 freeway would be the perfect place to pull over and frolic in the snow! That is what slowed down the trip home. No accident, no road closures, just idiots strolling around and crossing the freeway.

The interesting thing for me to think about is the fact that Palm Springs is about a 120 mile drive from home. That’s the same amount of miles I drive EVERY day when I work in Van Nuys!!! Now that’s crazy.

Candi and I talked more about the possibility of me teaching her AutoCAD and doing the drafting together. The more I think about it, the easier it is to visualize that in place -and I like the way it looks in my head. Speaking of visualization, I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. I’ve been visualizing my business, my home, our life, how I’d like the garage to look, all sorts of stuff. It’s been helpful I think to do that as I can get an even clearer idea of what to shoot for.

Back online…Finally!!!

 Life In General
Nov 182004
 

WinAMP’s Demise Greatly Exaggerated
Well it looks like someone at AOL freaked-out and told the world that WinAMP was done for. Turns out that the truth is far from what was earlier stated. Thank goodness! I would have missed one of my favorite apps terribly!

The internet was down here at work until I finally decided to call up our provider and get an answer. They changed the DNS server address on us and didn’t bother to tell anyone here! I then went around updating everyone’s workstations. Not too bad for a drafter!

2.5 hours to get to work today. uuuuuhh…

Hump day again…

 Life In General
Nov 172004
 

I think each and every morning that I wake up groggy and don’t feel like driving to Van Nuys for work is another day I start thinking strongly about starting my own business. Even the suggestions by Dave yesterday about seeking other landscaping companies got me a little concerned since I haven’t even done one job yet for the first company. What if I do a bad job? What if it isn’t a good match? Maybe I sould just take it slow and do a little at a time and make sure the work is good and the arrangement is good before jumping into soliciting other companies for work…

Well, this morning, all bets are off! I don’t care anymore about those fears. I just want to take the plunge so bad I can feel it -yet there’s still soo much to get done. I’ve still got to complete a business plan. I still need to be careful and make sure that I’m working in the best direction possible for this to work…

We’ll see just how cautious I feel tomorrow morning!

GOOD things about working in Van Nuys

 Life In General
Nov 162004
 

Well for starters, I’m typing this from my laptop right in the center of the city hall of Van Nuys where there is a WiFi Free Zone. Just show up with your WiFi-capable laptop, and you’re online!

Here’s another good reason:

Work space fully equipped with a lava lamp and Kenny doll! Of course I brought them here myself but I’m pretty jazzed to have them around to keep me “sane” while I work!

2 hour drive to work today…ug

 Business, Life In General
Nov 162004
 

Left early today for work (6am) and managed to get to work ON TIME (8am)! What is wrong with this picture? A job in Van Nuys is the problem. I am pretty ambivalent about it though. I just love the people and the work I do. I’m learning a lot and enjoy the atmosphere. It’s by far the smallest company I’ve ever worked for -and the smartest bunch of people I’ve even learned from. They are even working with me to learn some of their more complicated programs so that some of their main design work can be offloaded from their primary foreman (and give him some well-deserved off time). I know it would be an investment for the company to put the time into me, and I have stated fairly clearly that my intention is to start my own business eventually so I will not be with them forever -or even that long. So it’s not like they are unaware of my plans, but I still feel bad knowing that I’ll be leaving in the future. Then again, I am providing a service while I’m here, I am bringing value and profit to the company with the work that I do. That isn’t a disservice!

I met with the owner of a landscaping company last night in person with my wife and we talked about his business and his needs. I indicated that I’m currently taken for the week with other work but would be able to start testing the waters next week. By using my own software and equipment, I would be charging $40/hr for the work and he thought that was a fair price. What’s amazing is that no one has actually seen samples of my work! I guess I can talk a good talk. This work looks like it would be a good addition to my client base as there is definitely not 40 hours of solid work here but it could grow in the next couple of years as he has plans to expand their services to pools and room additions. Candi has also told me that she is interested in learning how to draft with AutoCAD so I’m going to be installing it on her own computer so I can slowly teach her the basics and then get her started as well. We’re thinking of the name “Night Owl Drafting”…

I’ve got to start working more on my business plan here as it looks like things are getting started and moving along faster than I had expected so I need to make sure I’m making the right decisions.

A Sad, Sad Day for Nullsoft/WinAmp

 Life In General
Nov 112004
 

Well it looks like we’ve seen the last of any new WinAmp releases for now…

“The last members of the original Winamp team have said goodbye to AOL and the door has all but shut on the Nullsoft era, BetaNews has learned. Only a few employees remain to prop up the once-ubiquitous digital audio player with minor updates, but no further improvements to Winamp are expected.”

Read more about it here at BetaNews.com

What a sad state of affairs! Winamp was the very first MP3 player I ever used back in 1996! It is still my media player of choice -for both audio and video. Looks like I’ll be getting more familiar with Windows Media Player here in the near future…

Hump Day

 Business, Life In General
Nov 102004
 


create your own visited states map

I guess it’s fairly easy to see now that I grew up in Illinois, went to school in Florida, and then traveled across the South to California!

I’ve got a lot on my mind lately. I visited a website while I was at home sick yesterday called Start-up Nation and managed to find a massive amount of resources to start-up up your own business. I managed to get parked on one of the very first guides on this page! I’ve been thinking about those very important questions for the past 24 hours. Here are some of their points and my thoughts:

-Decide on the “End” and Backtrack: What a difference! I now realize just how far off I was in planning for my business. I never once considered just how I’d like my business to look when I’ve “arrived”. I also decided to ask Candi what she would envision the business to look like were she to have a say in things

-Ask Yourself about Retirement: Once again, something I’ve never thought of. I now see that I need to think about this and come up with some figures. If I don’t have an idea of how I’d like to retire, I may not know when it’s time to stop!

-What is your Risk Level?: Very important question to look at as a family. I need to honestly and realistically look at what it’s going to take to get a business off the ground. If the cost is too high, something has to change!

All in all, this one little page has given me a lot to think about and a lot to consider.Candi and I are now doing some of this together as I finally came to my senses and decided to include her in this journey!

Sick again!!!

 Life In General
Nov 092004
 

I felt it coming on last night…well actually it was coming on all yesterday. I was sneezing and stuffy and had a sinus headache all day. But the evening was where it got a lot worse. I now have second thoughts about weather I should have gone to that leaders meeting. I didn’t get to bed until around 11. Well…No work for me today. I’ve slept almost all day but at least I’m feeling a lot better this afternoon. That’s encouraging considering I really don’t want to miss another day of work.

Mom sent me an absolutely insane link to the British paper “The Mirror” that apparently been able to successfully put to words what a lot of unhappy Americans are feeling:

Read the article here

It is hard reading this much hatred coming from such a “reputable” source but I guess there are a lot of people out there that actually feel this way…sad. Not that I’ve been that aware of the political realm for that long (maybe about 5 years now) but I’ve never seen such severe animosity displayed like I have this time around.

On a lighter note, I found this little gem of a toy that’s making it’s rounds and is sure to be a hit this Christmas season. If any of you remember the “sentry” robotic defense system that was shown in the directors-cut of Alien, this thing looks just like it -and works the same way. A motion sensor detects “intruders” and shoots them with little foam disks. Kids can use it to protect their privacy in their bedroom, BUT THERE’S SOOO MUCH MORE IT CAN DO! Check these quotes out:

“Bedroom? Stuck it in me garden, and that pesky cat ain’t come round no more!”
-Phil, Harrogate

“Working in IT, there is an area in front of my desk now dubbed “the confessional” – now when people come to confess, they automatically get their penance dispensed 🙂 Fantastic fun, and it also means I get support requests via e-mail instead of being disturbed :)”
-Greg, Wellington

“What GREAT fun! As soon as I set it up, my brother’s dog came into my room to eat my shoes again, and ever since he got shot hundreds of times by these awesome bullets, he’s never been back! I can also shoot it manually when I’m bored! AWESOME!”
-Mitch H, Sydney

Busy Weekend.

 Life In General
Nov 082004
 

OK, I’ve been so busy that I haven’t been able to update my journal! A lot has happened and I’m not sure if I should put it all in a single entry but here goes:

I’m not looking to get our of leadership anymore. I want to publicly thank Niell for his encouraging and touching words last week. You may not know just how special that was for me to hear you say just how you think of Candi and I. I realize now that I’ve been trying to do everything all on my own -and that can be disastrous! I haven’t delegated a single thing -even when there are plenty of capable people around me that would be more than willing to help. Neill and Becky have offered to meet with Candi and I for breakfast every Saturday morning to help plan out the week for the group and see where we can spread out the “tasks”. I feel so much better knowing there really IS a solution to my stresses other than quitting!

I did manage to update both the Hawaii trip photo album AND add the Burial at Sea memorial service for my Dad. You can see both albums here:

http://www.unofficial3d.com/hawaii

I managed to talk Mom into lending me her camera for a couple of weeks so I can try a day-by-day journal of my beard growing. I think I’ve found a decent rig for taking the same angle and shot every morning so hopefully after about 2-3 weeks, I’ll be able to create an animation showing my beard growing! I’ll probably need Neill’s Photoshop genius to align the images perfectly…

Last Sunday afternoon, while driving home, I saw that someone had put up a sign for John Kerry. I thought to myself that someone should put the words “lost” at the bottom of the sign. Funny thing is, when I returned later that afternoon, someone HAD! Luckily I had mom’s camera and managed to capture the moment:

I’m starting to get more and more enthusiastic for the possibility of starting my own business. I’ve been talking about it and asking just about everyone I know that could possibly offer some input or advice. I started talking to one of the engineers that contract my work to see if there is other work I could do. He mentioned a lady in Santa Clarita that does this very thing. “Moonlight Drafting” is the name of her company! She does all her drafting work from her home just like I am thinking. I think I’m going to hunt her down and see if I can get some pointers and info from her…

Come on Saturday!!!

 Life In General
Nov 052004
 

I can’t wait for the weekend today! I’m excited to be able to actually get a full night’s rest for once (or maybe even twice!!!). Candi’s going to be gone most of the day and I’m planning on spending a good portion of it up in Tehachapi with my mom maintaining her PC and furnace. I’m hoping to borrow her camera for a couple of weeks so you all reading this may be blessed with some more pics!

I don’t have a headache this morning nor am I overly tired today and that makes me nervous! It’s almost because I normally feel tired and in pain most of the work week so I’m ‘kinda waiting for the ball to drop or something. It’s funny that I actually take special notice to the days that I truly feel good -no headaches, backaches, sinus pain, fatigue, congestion, etc.

So I went negative on my checking account again last night. It was stupid. I should have kept better watch over my balance. Well the last time this happened I told Candi that if it happened again, I’d give her my ATM card and now it looks like that’s going to happen. I did say it so now I’m going to follow through with my word -don’t like it though. I guess now the question is if this is a permanent thing…

Already can’t wait for the weekend…

 Business, Life In General
Nov 032004
 

Candi’s going to be gone most of Saturday. I’m planning on going to see mom for a good part of the day but I’m also planning on making that a good day of reflection, prayer, thought, and planning. Dave has give me a lot to think about and I think I need a good few concurrent hours of undisturbed time to sort through them all.

My mind has been spinning with ideas for my business. Are there other services I could provide for engineers in the area? Maybe printing and scanning services? Training programs? Minor technical support? Who knows! I’m going to have to research any of these avenues before doing anything but it’s good to see that I have several options as well as just drafting and design work.

I was called this morning for an evening teaching position in LA for AutoCAD. It sounded pretty good but they want me to work Mon – Thurs. and I just can’t give up my Wed. nights for work. The nice thing is that they’re still interested in me for substitute instructor when any of them go out of town -still with the stipulation that Wed. night is off. He sounded pretty willing to give that a go. I’ve sent him my resume so we’ll just have to see what they can do. He even has a certification program through LA county or something for any of their instructors. Sounds good to me!

Looks like God is still guiding my life (like he always is)…

So here are some of the questions I’m starting to build up:

1) Do I need a business license?

2) Do I need to be “bonded”?

3) Are there different ways of handling my taxes when I work for myself?

4) Do I need to “incorporate” or anything like that?

5) What are some of the other services I can provide independent engineering projects?

6) Could I get a government grant for starting a small business?

7) What are some areas where Candi could help out?

8) How can I setup the business so that I, alone, am not the “single point of failure”? Could I train someone to do this too?

9) what would be my REAL operating costs on a yearly basis? Software costs? If I start commercial printing and scanning, how would this affect my utility bills?

10) Can I setup a teaching program in my garage? From a space standpoint and legal standpoint? If not, where could I rent/lease the space?

well.. that’s for starters!

What a night!

 Life In General
Nov 032004
 

Candi and I went nuts on the house. We cleaned out our bedroom until we could finally see the floor. I even got our air purifier cleaned and working again. That’s good considering the fact that we paid $700 for it! It feels soooooooo good to have our bedroom clean and orderly again. We’ve neglected it so much over the past year just keeping the rest of the house clean for our many guests. Now it was time to do something for ourselves -and our sanity. Sure feels good. I think we finally stopped around 12:15 this morning. I’m a bit tired but I don’t regret the work we did!

I’m starting to grow a beard again. I’m upset ’cause I don’t have my digital camera. I was thinking I could setup a little jig that held the camera and my head in a very specific place and I could take a pic everyday of my facial growth. Then later I’d compile them together into a short animation of my face growing hair! Oh well. I’m seeing my mom this weekend so maybe I’ll try and borrow her’s for a couple of weeks and start all over again.

I took a lava lamp to work this morning. Hooked it up and no one has even noticed it at my desk! Pretty funny for a civil engineering office. I’ve also got a Kenny doll from southpark above my monitors! I’m definitely going to have to borrow my mom’s camera and take a few shots for everyone. (including our new tattoos!)

Bush won! YAY!!!!

 Life In General
Nov 032004
 

Well I have to admint that I’m rather surprised at the election results. Considering the fact that there was a massive push to get people out to vote that didn’t in the last election. My thought here is that most of the people that didn’t vote last time just didn’t care to know about the people or the issues. It also meant that they were probably not “qualified” to make an educated vote. SHOULD they have voted? Not in my book. Just as I feel that if you’re on welfare, you shouldn’t have the right to vote as it would be a “conflict of interest” as you’d nearly always vote for a “pay raise”! Suffice it to say that I just don’t feel that EVERYONE is qualified to vote. Maybe some sort of IQ test or something…

Considering all that was against the Bush campaign from Moore’s “propagandamentry”, the vastly biased mainstream media, the Hollywood actors and big shot musicians. Even the swiftboat people got slammed by the media when they attempted to bad-mouth Kerry. With all that standing against you, he still won. I think that’s noteworthy.

…Not to mention the embarrasingly poor performance of the Republican Party and the incumbant Bush! The debates were an embarrasement for me to watch. >>I<< could have come up with better responses to Kerry and the questions that George did. That pisses me off. Why wasn't he more prepared?! I have to say that I'm not very happy with how the Republican Party has conducted themselves in the past decade. I'm becomming more and more angry at both sides for their own earned problems. The Liberal Dem's only appeal to the emotional side of things and don't really understand the value of capitalism. They yearn for a psudo-socialist government like most of Europe yet don't see that America is successful due to the fact that we AREN'T like them! My good 'ole Republicans have lost all sense of direction and are looking more and more like the Dem's. They don't know how to fight or even stand up for their beliefs -nor will they take the time or effort to educate people about how the world really works. --And who is dealing with illegal immigration in CA? NO ONE!!!

Internet Longevity

 Life In General
Nov 022004
 

I think it’s time to sit back and consider just how long I’ve had an Internet presence:

-Yahoo! email account: mid 1996 ==> 8 years ago

-Unofficial 3D Webring started: 12/31/1996 ==> 8 years ago

-eBay account: Jan-20-98 ==> 6 years ago

-First Slashdot.org post: 02-12-1999 ==> 5 years ago

-[H]ard|Forum (hardforum.com) membership: 10-15-2002 ==> 2 years ago
(954 total posts as of today)

That’s nearly a lifetime on the web. Hard to believe it’s been that long. What I’m the most proud of is the fact that my email address at Yahoo has always been the same. Thanks to their spam filtering, I’ve been able to keep it fairly clean over the years.

I’m actually scared about the election today!

 Life In General
Nov 022004
 

I’m truly worried about the election today. I don’t think I’ve ever been this concerned but maybe it’s due to the fact that I’ve learned so much in the past few years about politics and government. I’ve learned that so much of what I was taught as a child both at home and in school was flat-out wrong. I’ve heard all week that this is going to be a neck-and-neck race. I think I’ve tried subconsciously to hear that it won’t be as close as it is seemingly turning out to be. I tell myself things like “well we survived the Clintons in office for 8 years, we can survive Kerry if we have to” but the reality is that I believe Kerry could potentially be more dangerous than Clinton. As much of a charismatic, narcissistic political genious that he is, I see Kerry even more so. The message we will send to the world with his election is outright chilling to me.

Then again, maybe enough aggressive actions taken by radically liberal leaders and the Americal public will learn just what they truly stand for…

I survived Halloween.

 Life In General
Nov 012004
 

Man do I love the Halloween TV shows! Candi and I got to watch some of the best horror movies and documentaries we could stand. There was a relatively low trick-or-treaters this year (but it was pretty cold and windy where we live). Funny thing was the two teenagers that showed up around 11pm! We sure thought that was funny! I think we’ll run to Magic Mountain next year. That place has by far the best Halloween entertainment for both kids and adults I’ve ever seen. The entire park is decked-out for the night!

Candi and I wound-up having a bump as the night progressed and I think we’re not quite done talking about it. That was a bummer but at least we’re still communicating. I’d rather be there than living in silence.

Monday is becoming my favorite day of the week. It’s when I feel my best. I’ve had a good night’s sleep and I’m ready for a full day of work. I wish the rest of the week felt this way. I wind-up pooping-out around 2-3pm and then longing for the end of the work day so I can go home to start another collection of tasks! Still bugs me that I don’t really “wake up” until around 10-11pm -the very moment I should be going to sleep! That’s why I’m convinced that I need to work from home -and work at my own hours. I’m sure I could handle a couple of early morning days but not every day of the week.

With me stressing out about not having time for anything in my life, I realized that we’ve got tonight and tomorrow night totally free (except for voting). We’re planning on cleaning and organizing the house. I’m actually a bit excited about it considering we’ve not had two consecutive days free like this in a long time. We have a $700 exercise machine that’s been sitting in out bedroom collecting dust ’cause we don’t have the room around it to use it! That’s just got to change. I’m really hoping we can get it all done in the next two evenings. It’s actually a big task since we’ve both let things go around the house (especially the bedroom) and have a lot of catching up to do!

time is slipping through my fingers!!

 Life In General
Oct 292004
 

I got home with just enough time to run and get some groceries, eat dinner with Candi, watch a little bit of “Head Of State” on Cinemax, do the dishes, take out the trash, and empty the cat litter boxes. Doing all that meant still going to bed at midnight and waking up later (after not even hearing my alarm), not showering, and getting to work 30 min late -and this is an evening I consider “free” in that I didn’t have any appointment with anyone or anything! I’ve got to do something to get out of this commuting work. I think it’s killing all my available time for just LIFE. We’ve got a birthday party tonight at our house and I’m hardly prepared for it. I hope Candi won’t be too mad that I didn’t help out that much last night with the cleaning. I don’t know how other families manage to do this for years on end -and with kids!

I’m thinking of seeing if I can just take some time this coming Saturday and just go somewhere alone and just be still for a few hours. I need to get away and do some planning, scheming, sketching, and some serious praying. Don’w know if it’ll happen but you never know. At least that’s what I’m shooting for…

I was asked to be involved in another counseling/recovery ministry earlier this week. I think it will mean leaving the one I’m involved with right now and that is weighing heavy on my heart. I have been a part of this group for two years now and owe a lot of where I’m at personally to the help I indirectly received from being there. I suppose it’s time to move on and do some sort of “greater good” as a result but I just don’t like the idea of leaving.

Our two remaining kittens are just runnig all over the house these days. I’m hoping “Dipstick” won’t be too alarmed when his brother “Bear” leaves to go live with my Mom. He will wine like crazy just if Bear goes outside without him. They can’t stand to be alone for more and a few short moments. We’ll see…

Where does the time go?

 Life In General
Oct 282004
 

I never seem to have enough of it. It’s been nagging at me for several weeks now. I have so much that I want to get done and accomplish and it just seems to pile up and never get any lighter. I’ve got at least 3 computers sitting at my house waiting to be rebuilt, I’ve got two engineers that would like me to do some work for them, and I still need to sit down and start researching a business plan for how I’m going to start working from home. In the midst of all this, I have plans for remodeling the house and migrating my shop from one of the bedrooms to the garage. Soo much to do and soo little time!

I know that I could probably just sit down and start planning these things but it seems like most of what I plan never comes to be as life manages to get in the way. In reality, I see that I spend a lot of time just getting with people and families helping them out and I don’t mind. I understand that this is part of the sacrifice I chose to offer to God but it’s getting harder to feel good about these sacrifices when it also seems like I’m the verge of becomming “self-negligent” in the process. I don’t really take care of my body and I don’t really take care of my family like I’d like to.

I cleared up a lot of work I had to accomplish to go to Hawaii and now that I’ve been back for most of the week, it feels like I’m right back in the “stew of urgent tasks” that surround my life. I don’t use my franklin planner that often but I am beginning to have serious doubts about if that would help or not anyways. I suppose it might be good to at least sit down and start prioritizing all the things I want to get done and maybe I’ll see light at the end of the tunnel…I don’t know. I don’t even know when I’ll be able to do that! I’ve got to get at least one computer done by the end of the week or there will be hell to pay. I also have doubts that it will even be a worthwhile machine when I’m done with it. Oh well. I think I’m not going to accept any more side work until I get this all sorted out. -no I can’t do that yet, we need the money. Hawaii ‘kinda put us on the financial edge and my wife doesn’t like being there (and I’m starting to understand her beliefs about it too).

Got the Hawaii pictures uploaded!

 Life In General
Oct 272004
 

check them out here:

http://www.unofficial3d.com/hawaii

I’m hoping to have a few moments tonight to finally attempt some screen captures of the video shot of my dad’s memorial service so I can put them up there too. In the mean time, enjoy the pics!

I was especially happy to see that the company that I saw when I was here back in 1991 is still going strong: Roberts Hawaii!!!! It’s a bus line here. We saw them a LOT in Owahu but even a couple of them in Kawai. Check it out:

I’m faymous!!!

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